IN - TER- EST- ING , answers it all.

How thankfull am I to be blessed with a dear friend, who shares my name even, who has her own catch word as I have the phrase Bless your heart, dear friend has interesting. Oh, it is a multipurpose word that can cover any situation that arises for sweet friend. Perchance you doubt that one single word can accomplish a meaning appropriate to most every situation well I shall give examples.

1. Interesting - Said together not stressing one syllable greatly over the others means she has found something to be of genuine interest such as a good recipe, local history experts or perhaps even a Bible concept for which she has just gleaned from study or a teaching. If it is a considerable gem of new knowledge such as a new recipe or cleaning method you most assuredly will hear very interesting.

2. In-TER-Esting (It was inTEResting)- Said by stressing the ter means that she finds something that has upset her delicate sensibilities such as someones finding themselves in an akward situation as finding their husband in a compromising situation, an evening that was full of helping one of her various charity projects whom she must drop everything to help whatever poor soul is homeless, jobless, on drugs or being cheated on by their spouse.

3. INTER-esting (Oh, um INTER-esting)- This answer is readily at her command to utter as soon as her opinion is asked on something (usually an object) which she finds completly distasteful even downright hideous, but not one to offend, dear friend merely says INTER-esting.

I do believe their are a few more slight variations on her enunciation of the most useful word intersting but they are mere shades different of those used more predominatly by her and as I have told of the first and main three, I believe any reader is sure to follow and understand the general drift of the passage. If you still cannot fathom so many uses for the word interesting being both a compliment to a scholarly attempt, or at the other end an insult politely veiled, all I can say is BLESS YOUR HEART !

Bad hair, worse clothes, tantrums, ah the joy of Sunday's

What a wonderfull day, a day ordained of God to be a day of rest ! How blissful is the thought of a quiet day of tranquility and peace. A full day set aside for rest and a fellowship of the saints learning from Gods word in unity and one accord. Just the thought of it amazes me. So amazing in fact I wonder where such a day exists. Not with my family !! No, quite the opposite, the day starts out with me making a nice breakfast of omlets, toast and oatmeal. So far so good but then it starts. Darling daughter refuses to take vitamins (very expensive ones much needed as it seems my cooking does not provide all the essentials according to dear husband, thus dear daughter eats too much , only one of the many errors I make it seems.), dearest husband makes faces about the homeade oatmeal that could rival any small child who was force fed a lemon. Then darling daughter starts complaining that I was going to eat the last piece of toast and she was quite bothered by it. Would have made more sense had she not had toast on her plate and in her hand at the time but ... seemed justified to her. Now, for the battle royal aka fixing darling daughters hair. Well, letting the bangs grow out are just so precious as her baby fine hair slips out of every hair style I try and looks terrible. She ofcourse is "carrying on" to point I want to give the child a buzz cut (ok not really). Going to get in our car I realize you can see straight through darling daughters dress, thus we must go back up stairs and have her get redressed amid her protests. That being done we get in our car, well she does, I have to go back in the house for my Bible. Whew, I sit in the car so relieved that it is only 9:30 the time we were to leave. I proudly point this out to my husband who replies well good as we were almost late last week. Almost late?? How can you be almost late? I asked. Obviously a silly question on my part since he just kept saying ok then, in a tone that means I am exasperated with my dimwitted wife who does not even get the concept of time. (still don't since almost late to me means not late so there!) Arriving at church, (well before class starts thank you very much) I happen to see a reflection of my self in the restroom mirror which is quite upsetting to put it mildy. As I know had the knowledge of just how bad I looked wearing a homemade skirt (made by me thank you very much) upon my word if I knew how horrible I looked I would surely not have worn it. The fact it did not match my blouse and my frowsy hair was pulled up in a small clip and make up was only so - so was only part of the horrid ensemble as I had worn white anklets (thought to be hidden as the skirt was so long) not the case. So, into service I go with my ugly clothes, frowsy hair, less than great attitude and half smile. Sunday school is interesting, darling daughter actually comes in from her class and sits down (Lord, I do thank you for that one) Service is going well and darling daughter whispers (read talks somewhat less loud that usual) only half the time. I am now breathing easy, listening to a really interesting sermon when it starts. What is "it" only a meltdown to be in progress, I say to be because it was only a mere scuffle at this point. Dearest husband wants darling daughter to share her life savers with her friend. She loves her friend and wants to share but she is taking way to long trying to get the life savers apart and finally I take candy out of her hand and pass it down. Well, not only did she not get to hand her friend the wonderfull red life saver (the best as everyone knows) she did not have any more life savers. Oh the fit, she throws herself across the chairs and weeps ans though her heart were breaking. Such pitifull sobs that one would think a beloved pet had died. Dearest husband gives me the sign to do something about it and finally tells me to take darling outside. Easier said than done as pastor was halfway down the aisle speaking and dd was whole heartedly refusing to go. Finally the squalling tantrum had ended (thankfully unoticed by the congregation as a whole as darlings face was buried in a seat cushion. She is fine now although her face is red and blotchy and her formerly stringy hair is not wet stringy frizzy tangly looking and bangs in her eyes. Normally just a cutie, she looks sadly pitiful only beat out of being worst look in church today by me in the homeade skirt and ... you remember the rest. So, what do you think the correction should have been for such behavior? No reall what do you think it should have been? Somehow she ends up being apologized to by me and her dad, a promise of more candy, taken out for Chinese food which she loves and getting a new movie and soda at Wal-Mart. Hmm, I cannot imagine why she continures to have these tantrums at church (eyes rolling) So , I wonder where are these people who rest on the sabbath? And do they have a secret for keeping hair bows in and darling outfits on the entire family and make breakfast that the family enjoys? Hmm, now that I think of it I know where they are they the dear families all around mine at church who pretends not to notice the look and behavior of my darling childs tantrum and my somewhat fashion statement. To my dear friends who read this, you know who you are so I won't call you by name. Thank you for pretending not to notice and acting as if we were quite like the rest of you being in church with your sweet mannered children and darling oufits and cute hair. Love and hugs to you all, I think I will get a super bad unhealthy sugary off limit diet breaking, icy cold Coke, Cheers and a blessed sabbath to you all ! For any of you pitiful creatures who had a day similiar to mine BLESS YOUR HEART !

Bless your heart !

Bless your heart covers almost every situation from wedding disasters, a bad driver, death and taxes. Oh, sure you say, some hackneyed expression used as to thinly veil an insult and it is suddenly the one line univeral statement for every situation. Most definately, I think, and if you don't get it well "Bless your heart", I will attempt to explain in the following examples:

1. Your dearest friend gets a bad hair cut and she is so upset, well the hair cut might be indeed bad but you certainly don't agree or even if it looks cute to you that does not help her at the time. So what do you say, you, in a most sympathetic tone say "Bless your heart", let see what we can do about it.

2. Perhaps a stranger in a public restroom starts telling you about their children and how one was really loud like your own child, who you are pleading with to stop singing while in the stall of afore mentioned bathroom, (not pleasantly mind you , but off key off pitch and well just bless the childs heart it would make animals howl) The kind stranger goes on in her story about having one child who could not hear and would pull his mothers face around while she was driving so she could see his signing to her. Well, at this point, some of you might be at a loss as what to say but I found myself going back on the most helpful phrase of " Bless your heart", It perfectly summed up all of my feelings and emotions at the time and the person perfectly understood my meaning which was, thank you for not saying how annoying my child was being, how sweet of you to relate the story of your children to make me feel better, and how sorry I was that one of her own dear children was deaf. She smiled as did I, and my little singer finally did me the great honor of finishing her toilet top concert and washed up as she knew nothing of the embrassment of her actions caused her poor mom (me).

3. A family member calls and relates the harsh news that indeed they owe a goodly some for taxes, well, you could tell them to think of it as an interest free loan from the govt. all this year or how they should be thankfull that they made enough to have to pay. You could start ranting about the horrors of how the govt. spends the money and let the conversation get both quite depressed. Well, would it not be much better to say "Bless your heart", in such a tone that conveys your understanding of all the former lenghty conversastion which only leads to more suffering. So "Bless your heart" and hon, have a piece of pie completely makes things seem better.

4. Yes, certainly "Bless your heart can be an thinly veiled insult but then it must have a slight deviation from your to her or his. An example being that someone comes to the attention of you and a friend or family member, who has decided to wear the most odious of all fashions statements which that one could make and you make a slight grimace, look at each other and say bless HER (or HIS) heart, do people not have mirrors ? (or some such other comment)

The list could go on and on about the wonderfull catch all phrase of bless your heart and it's myriad of applications for use as sympathy, friendship, kindness or disdain, but if you just cannot understand it , well "Bless your heart."